Who me?
Who is Phoenix?
I am a semi complex person. I am complex because I know what I want but I will sometimes venture down another path just to “see’ if it is any better. I am very loving. I like to make people smile by just being my natural self. One of my major faults can be my attitude (So I have been told). I feel that my attitude is no nonsense. I feel that a lot of people really don’t want to know the bold truth and feel that they should be the center of YOUR world. This is where my attitude becomes an issue because I can come off as if I do not care. I might seem as if I do not care because a lot of times, I cannot relate. Therefore, I do not know how to respond. I guess that is basically insensitive, but I see it as not knowing what to say so you shut up.
I am the type of person that either you love me or you hate me. There is usually no middle man. I cannot be someone I am not. I used to “fake it” just to go with the flow, but I am simply not programmed to do that anymore. It becomes another job. It will consume you. Take over everything and slowly change who you are. So I stay in my own lane.
Over the years, I have lost and gained a lot of friends. Some I wish I wouldn’t have gained for their short period in my life and others are still around. I only have a few that are true friends. Some are semi close, others and on occasions, and some will never leave even if I do not talk to them for months. But each individual has their own ranking with me. It is not to be discussed or changed because it is the ranking that I made. Each friend is good for something different. Each friend is good for discussing a different topic. And each friend adds to your life in a different way. Without them, life would be different.
I got off track……..Sorry
Another thing about me, I want to have a happy love story ending to my life. I have made a decision to become a better person inside and out. I know that this will be the hardest task of my life, but it is something that has to be done. It is well overdue. I feel that the God I serve will make all of my hopes and desires come true as long as I let him lead me and not get sucked into any mess, I will have everything I have ever wanted and more than I can ever use because my God is awesome!
So to make a long story short, I am striving to be better. Work on my attitude, make myself a stronger individual, and relax.
